6ABX07 Rain King

[Mulder and Scully step out of small plane to be greeted by Mayor Gilmore and Rhonda, an eight-year old baton twirler]

Scully: [to Mulder] Don't look at me. This was your idea.

Mayor Jim Gilmore: Agent Mulder, welcome to Kroner. I'm Jim Gilmore, the mayor. We spoke on the phone.

Mulder: Nice to meet you, sir.

Mayor Jim Gilmore: If I'd have known you was bringing the missus, I would've arranged for fancier accommodations.

Scully: I'm Agent Scully, Agent Mulder's partner. I'm... sure the accommodations will be just fine.

Mayor Jim Gilmore: My apologies, ma'am. We appreciate your flying clear out here to help solve our crisis. I'd hoped for a bigger welcome, but, well... Okay, Rhonda that's enough. Go find your mama!

Scully: Uh, sir you mentioned a crisis. Agent Mulder has been a little... ah ... vague as to the specifics of this crisis.

Mayor Jim Gilmore: Well it's all around us — runted crops, field fires, bankruptcies... This drought is destroying people's lives, and it's wrong for a single man to prosper at the expense of others.

Scully: A single man?

Mayor Jim Gilmore: Daryl Mootz. He's a local fellow charging people for rain. [He hands Mulder a brochure entitled Rain King with Daryl Mootz' picture on it]

Scully: You mean cloud seeding?

Mayor Jim Gilmore: The hell I do. I mean he shows up at a farm, does his dog and pony act, and the heavens weep.

Scully: Well, sir, if this man Mootz could, in fact, somehow produce rain then what's the crime?

Mayor Jim Gilmore: I believe Daryl's causing the drought... so he can charge folks for the rain.

Scully: And this is what you told Agent Mulder when you spoke earlier?

Mayor Jim Gilmore: Yes, ma'am. He seemed real eager to help us.

---

Mulder: Come on, Scully. You act like I intentionally misled you. Over the past 30 years this town has had more tornadoes, heat waves and hailstorms than any other town in the country. It's like ground zero for extreme weather.

Scully: A man... controlling... the weather.

Mulder: Well, if that's true — if Daryl Mootz is controlling the weather for profit — then that is a crime and that should be investigated.

Scully: Mulder, I see the vacant buildings. I see the signs. These people are scared. But there have always been droughts and natural disasters and people are always looking for a scapegoat.

Mulder: Yeah, but how many scapegoats lease office space?

---

Mulder: Agents Mulder and Scully with the FBI. We're looking for Daryl Mootz.

Cindy Culpepper: One second. [to caller on phone] Yes, ma'am. Appendix C. That's right. I need a six-pack of beer, a carton of Morley Lights, and a big old bowl of jellybeans. And can you pick out all the green ones 'cause he don't like the green ones. You're welcome. [She hangs up] Now, what can I do for the FBI?

Mulder: We want to see the king.

Cindy Culpepper: I'm sorry. Mr Mootz is out of the state 'til this afternoon on business.

Mulder: Well, when you say on business you mean he's making it rain?

Cindy Culpepper: Uh-huh. He's just across the state line into Nebraska. Town of Wymore.

Scully: If we could get a list of all the people who have employed his services, it would be helpful.

Cindy Culpepper: I don't understand. Does he... Don't you all need a warrant or a subpoena or something like that?

Scully: We usually just say, please.

Cindy Culpepper: What are you investigating Daryl for? He's a hero in this community.

Scully: So you actually believe that he makes it rain?

Cindy Culpepper: I know it to be fact. He saved my daddy's farm. How dare you people.

---

Sheila Fontaine: Oh! We were beginning to worry that you wouldn't make it. Is this your first time in a TV studio? How exciting. I couldn't be happier for the two of you.

Scully: I'm not su...

[Sheila Fontaine runs over to get Holman Hardt]

Sheila Fontaine: Holman, I'd like to introduce you to... the Gundersons.

Holman Hardt: Congratulations! I hope you have a truly romantic getaway.

Sheila Fontaine: Aren't you glad you watch Channel Five weather?

Scully: We're Agents Mulder and Scully. We're with the FBI.

Sheila Fontaine: FBI? Oh, my goodness! I thought you were the Watch the Weather and Win contest winners.

Holman Hardt: See, we haven't had any rain in months and... well, people tend to blame the messenger.

Sheila Fontaine: Oh, there's the Gundersons. Over here!

[The Gundersons are an older plain-looking farm couple]

Mulder: It's like looking in a mirror.

---

Holman Hardt: I went to high school with Daryl. Different social circles and... frankly, he's about the last man I would give credit to for anything...

Scully: I hear a big but coming.

Holman Hardt: Daryl appears to be the real deal. I can't explain it, but... where he wanders, showers follow.

---

Mulder: How do you explain your unique ability?

Daryl Mootz: I don't. It's complicated.

Mulder: Try me. I watch the Weather Channel.

Daryl Mootz: If you're wondering, did I ask for this gift no, sir, I did not, no more than I asked to lose this here limb. But I should've expected it, and I'll tell you why. Because I come from a long line of healing people. I'm a spiritual man, in touch... with the really real. The, the unseen real.

---

Scully: Mulder, what are we doing here?

Mulder: Well, this is not without historical precedent. The Old West was full of travelling men who claimed to be rainmakers. The Pueblo Indians even had a rain dance.

Scully: Mulder, that is not a rain dance. My Irish Aunt Olive has more Cherokee in her than Daryl Mootz. I mean, look at him, Mulder. Does that look like a man who can control the weather?

[Mulder and Scully are drenched by a sudden downpour]

---

Hotel Manager: Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room.

Scully: He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms.

Hotel Manager: Oh, old-fashioned are you, huh? Well, we're booked solid with the high school reunion. You can take it or leave it.

---

Mulder: Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me just as we're down here investigating the weather.

Scully: Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?

Mulder: I'm telling you, that cow had my name on it.

Holman Hardt: Agent Mulder, are you all right? I feel terrible. If there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate.

Scully: Perhaps there is. Mr Hardt, would you please reassure Agent Mulder that this cow incident was, in fact, a natural phenomenon?

Holman Hardt: With pleasure. Uh, it's my belief that a mini-twister picked that poor creature up, lifted it about 12,000 feet where the air cooled and, uh... I'm just grateful you weren't hurt any worse.

Sheila Fontaine: Excuse me.

Holman Hardt: You shouldn't be here.

Sheila Fontaine: Holman, don't make this any harder. It's my fault. I did it.

---

Sheila Fontaine: I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not something that I can control.

Mulder: Are you saying that you're somehow responsible for the...

Sheila Fontaine: I murdered that poor cow!

Scully: Uh... Holman just explained to us that, uh, that a mini-twister is what caused the accident.

Sheila Fontaine: He's just being sweet, covering for me. He knows the truth. This isn't the first time something like this has happened. The night of my senior prom a tornado demolished our high school... And then... On my wedding day, a day I'd always dreamed about, the ceremony was outdoors on the Fourth of July weekend. It snowed six inches. Then three years later my husband ran off with some girl from the phone company and on the day that our divorce was finalised I stepped out of the courthouse and... you know how you can see shapes in those big fluffy clouds? Well... I swear that every cloud in that big blue sky was a face laughing at me... And that was about ten years ago and that was the last time it happened until last night.

Mulder: What's your connection to Daryl Mootz?

Sheila Fontaine: Well... We used to be engaged.

Scully: You two were engaged?

Sheila Fontaine: Yeah, about six months ago and, um... we had a fight and he took a drive, and... and a... and a freak hailstorm cost him his leg.

Mulder: And ever since then, the rain's been following him.

Sheila Fontaine: Am I under arrest?

Mulder: No. I can tell you without a doubt that you're not responsible for any of that weather.

Sheila Fontaine: Oh... But...

Mulder: Agent Scully and I specialise in these types of cases and although you may have had some bad luck you didn't cause any of it.

Sheila Fontaine: Are you sure?

Mulder: Yeah, yeah, I'm... I'm sure. Scully, you have any doubts?

Scully: No.

Mulder: You see?

Scully: No doubts.

Sheila Fontaine: I really want to believe you. Thanks.

Mulder: You're welcome.

---

Scully: Next flight out is 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.

Mulder: Look at this, Scully. [Mulder holds up a newspaper] September 20, 1991, it rained rose petals for nearly an hour.

Scully: Mulder, we're going home. The rain stopped this afternoon. Daryl Mootz is being sued by about 50 people. There's no case... And you told Sheila yourself that she wasn't controlling the weather.

Mulder: She's not. Neither is Daryl. Check this out — on the same day that it rained rose petals. Irene Hardt, beloved wife and devoted mother, passed away yesterday afternoon... She's survived by one son, Holman Hardt..

Scully: Oh, so, now you're saying that Holman Hardt...

Mulder: Holman Hardt is manufacturing the weather. Did you see how relieved he was when he learned that Daryl was drunk? I've been doing some checking. Holman Hardt has been hospitalised five times with nervous exhaustion, each time coinciding with a major meteorological event.

Scully: Mulder, it is still a huge leap to say that he's manufacturing the weather.

Mulder: Most people will admit that the weather plays a significant role in the way they feel, right? There's even that disorder.

Scully: SAD — seasonal affective disorder.

Mulder: Mm-hmm, yeah. Well, who's to say that it doesn't work the other way around — that the way someone feels can affect the weather... that the weather is somehow an expression of Holman Hardt's feelings or better still, the feelings that he's not expressing?

---

Mulder: Hey, Holman.

Holman Hardt: Agent Mulder.

Mulder: I've come to say good-bye, Holman.

Holman Hardt: You're leaving.

Mulder: Yeah. But I want you to get some help before you kill somebody.

Holman Hardt: Help? What are you talking about?

Mulder: You know what I'm talking about. You're not just a weatherman, you're the weatherman. You're the person who's been affecting the weather.

Holman Hardt: Agent Mulder, if I could control the weather don't you think I would make it rain? That I would end this drought?

Mulder: I don't think it works that way. I don't think you do it on purpose. I just think you bottle up your emotions — anger, grief, or love or whatever — and then, as a response, it rains or hails or there's a flying cow.

Holman Hardt: That poor animal.

Mulder: And whatever it is, you got to let it out.

Holman Hardt: I can't.

Mulder: Yeah, you can. It's Sheila, isn't it? You love her. You've always loved her. That, uh, tornado at the high school... that was you, wasn't it?

Holman Hardt: The night of our senior prom, I, uh... accidentally stumbled upon her and her boyfriend... in flagrante delicto. And the next thing you know...

Mulder: And you've never told her the way you feel?

Holman Hardt: How can a frog tell a swan that he loves her?

Mulder: Well, you better tell her or you're going to kill somebody.

Holman Hardt: Well, you got to help me.

Mulder: I got a plane to catch.

Holman Hardt: You can't go. If you don't help me, who will?

Mulder: I am meeting my partner at the airport. [Mulder's phone rings] Excuse me. Hold on. [answering mobile phone] Mulder.

Scully: Mulder, it's me.

Mulder: I'm on my way.

Scully: I'm not so sure. Have you looked outside lately? It's pea soup. Our plane can't take off until after this fog lifts.

Mulder: Fog? Holman! [Holman Hardt shrugs]

Scully: Holman?

Mulder: Yeah... he wants advice. Dating advice.

Scully: Dating advice? From whom?

Mulder: Yours truly. Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?

Scully: I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?

Mulder: I will talk to you later. [He hangs up]

Scully: The blind leading the blind.

---

Holman Hardt: I've been envious of men like you my whole life. Based on your physical bearing, I'd assumed you were... more experienced. I mean... you spend every day with Agent Scully a beautiful, enchanting woman. And you two never, uh...? I... confess I find that shocking. I... I've seen how you two gaze at one another.

Mulder: This is about you, Holman. I'm here to help you. I'm perfectly happy with my friendship with Agent Scully.

Holman Hardt: So according to your theory I walk in there, tell her I love her and the drought will end?

Mulder: Just tell her how you feel. And Holman... I do not gaze at Scully.

---

Scully: Mulder, the fog has lifted and if you're ready... the plane is waiting.

Mulder: Scully, do you know anything about, um... weather radar?

Scully: A bit. Why?

Mulder: What does red mean?

Scully: Thunderstorms, I think. [A storm of hurricane proportions is approaching the area]

Mulder: Looks like we're not going to be able to catch our plane.

---

[Holman Hardt's confession of love to Sheila Fontaine does not go well and she runs for the bathroom]

Mulder: I'll build the ark, you gather the animals. [Scully heads to the bathroom] I was kidding.

---

Scully: Sheila... my partner has a theory and even though I don't share his belief I feel that, given the circumstances you should hear his theory because it involves you and Holman. Agent Mulder believes that the drought, this storm, these bizarre set of weather conditions that have plagued you over the years are... are caused by Holman. Specifically, that... that his emotions are somehow manifesting themselves in the weather and Agent Mulder believes that Holman is... unwittingly destroying this town because of his unspoken love for you.

Sheila Fontaine: You love him, don't you?

Scully: What?

Sheila Fontaine: You're jealous because Agent Mulder and I have a special connection and you're trying to divert me to Holman.

Scully: What?

---

Sheila Fontaine: Not even a kiss? Trust me, the man knows how to kiss. I just never thought of Holman that way, you know. He's my closest friend. And to not even suspect...

Scully: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships — the ones that last — are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. The storm drains are filling up. Let's get out of here.

---

Sheila Fontaine: Is it true? That you make the weather? Because of me? The tornado in high school, snow at my wedding?

Holman Hardt: I'm so sorry.

Sheila Fontaine: Daryl's rain?

Holman Hardt: Can't explain the logic of it. Yes. Some strange manifestation of guilt.

Sheila Fontaine: Even this rain? Because you love me?

Holman Hardt: Because... I love you.

Sheila Fontaine: That is the most romantic thing I've ever heard. [The rain stops]

---

Mulder: I didn't know reunions could be so...

Scully: Wet?