6ABX04 Dreamland

Mulder: Milepost 134. Two miles to go.

Scully: I'm all a-tingle. So, Mulder, this supposed clandestine source who's contacted you, how do we know that he's not just another crackpot whose encyclopaedic knowledge of extraterrestrial life isn't derived exclusively from reruns of Star Trek?

Mulder: Because of where this particular crackpot works. Groom Lake. Area 51. Where the military has conducted...

Scully: ...for the past 50 years, classified experiments involving extraterrestrial technology.

Mulder: It's all our questions. The proof that we've suspected but never been able to hold in our hands. That... that proof is here.

Scully: Mulder, it's the dim hope of finding that proof that's kept us in this car, or one very much like it for more nights than I care to remember. Driving hundreds if not thousands of miles through neighbourhoods and cities and towns where people are raising families and buying homes and playing with their kids and their dogs, and... in short, living their lives. While we — we — we just keep driving.

Mulder: What is your point?

Scully: Don't you ever just want to stop? Get out of the damn car? Settle down and live something approaching a normal life?

Mulder: This is a normal life.

[They see headlights approaching very quickly from the rear]

Scully: Mulder.

Mulder: I don't know if we're going to meet that crackpot after all.

---

Morris Fletcher: FBI. You're going to have to turn around and leave immediately.

Mulder: Why? It's a public highway.

Morris Fletcher: It also borders on a US Government testing ground. What's your business here? What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?

Mulder: What are you doing out here?

Scully: Hiding top secret test flights? Using technology from UFOs?

Morris Fletcher: Flying saucers. I got a top secret for you. There's no such thing as flying saucers.

---

Howard Grodin: Morris. Morris? What do you think you're doing? Why'd you let them go?

Morris Fletcher: They didn't know anything.

Howard Grodin: They were FBI agents obviously here to meet someone, very possibly an informant. You just sent away our best hope of finding out who.

Jeff Smoodge: We can't just disappear a couple of FBI agents, Howard. We'll get their own people to deal with them. That's what Morris was thinking. Right, Morry? Let's go.

---

Mulder: Oh, Dana? Want to pick me up a pack of Morleys, please?

Scully: Since when do you smoke?

Mulder: Well... you're not going to be a Nazi about it, are you?

---

Scully: Mulder!

Mulder: Hey... Hey, Dana. How's it going?

Scully: Mulder... Where have you been?

Mulder: Oh, sorry, I just got a little lost on my way in.

Scully: You got lost?

Mulder: I'm just a little, you know, little lost in my head.

Scully: Yeah.

---

Assistant Director Kersh: My two frequent flyers. I'm to understand you were in Nevada yesterday and after — what's it been? — Two to three conversations such as this on the matter.

Scully: Uh, sir...

Assistant Director Kersh: This morning I got a phone call from the Pentagon demanding that the two of you be reprimanded for trespassing on a top-secret military installation. What do you think you were doing there?

Scully: We were following a lead, sir.

Assistant Director Kersh: And that's part of your current caseload? A legitimate investigation?

Mulder: Agent Scully and I were contacted by a confidential source.

Assistant Director Kersh: What source?

Mulder: Oh, if I had the name, I'd give it to you. Some whistle-blower working inside the so-called Area 51. Said he had some big deal information. I got to tell you... The whole thing turned out to be just one gigantic mistake on our part. [Scully does not look comfortable with Mulder's behaviour]

Assistant Director Kersh: Agent Mulder, you were specifically ordered not to pursue any line of investigation pertaining to the X-Files.

Mulder: Sir, you're absolutely right. And on behalf of Agent Scully and myself, I'd like to apologise for our blatant disregard of your direct order. You have our word. We will never ever do that again.

---

Joanne Fletcher: Morris! What about Chris?

Morris Fletcher: Chris?

Christine Fletcher: You said you'd give me an answer today.

Joanne Fletcher: Her nose! You said you'd give her an answer on her nose.

Morris Fletcher: Um. I think... I think she's a little young for plastic surgery, don't you think? [Christine Fletcher bursts into tears]

Joanne Fletcher: Oh, for god sakes, Morris. A nose ring! She said she wants a nose ring!

Christine Fletcher: I hate you! I wish you were dead.

Morris Fletcher: Well... my work here is done. Have a nice day.

---

[Checking out Morris Fletcher's wardrobe, Mulder finds nothing but black suits and white shirts]

Morris Fletcher: Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Johnny Cash.

---

[Morris Fletcher is playing golf on Mulder's computer]

Mulder: Come on baby, be the hole... [misses] Ow!

Scully: Mulder!

Mulder: I got a birdie!

Scully: [answering phone] Scully.

Morris Fletcher: Oh, thank goodness, Scully, it's me. [Mulder is calling from an outdoor payphone at a gas station]

Scully: I'm sorry, who is this?

Morris Fletcher: It's me, Mulder.

Scully: Mulder.

Morris Fletcher: I'm sorry I couldn't call sooner. Look, something really weird happened last night when that UFO passed over us.

Scully: UFO?

Morris Fletcher: You don't remember? You don't remember. Okay, the man that you're with, that's not me. His name is Morris Fletcher. He's an Area 51 employee.

Scully: Morris Fletcher.

Morris Fletcher: That's right. Everybody here seems to think that I'm him, but I'm not. I'm me. I'm Mulder.

Scully: [whispering to Mulder] Psst. [Morris Fletcher reaches over and picks up the other line]

Morris Fletcher: As long as they think that I'm him I have access but I'm going to need your help. [Hearing the click as Morris Fletcher picks up] What was that?

Scully: Uh... What was what?

Morris Fletcher: This may not be a secure line.

Scully: Mulder, uh... Where are you?

Morris Fletcher: Better not say. Look, just get out here as soon as you can.

Scully: How can I get in touch with you?

Morris Fletcher: You won't. I'll get in touch with you [Mulder hangs up the payphone]

Mulder: Who do you suppose that was?

Scully: That wasn't your source? Well, I'll run a trace.

Mulder: Uh... No, no. I think we should notify El Jefe ASAP. We don't want our collective asses chewed out all over again.

Scully: Mulder? Are you sure that's the best thing to do?

Mulder: Look, little lady. I think it's time you got your panties on straight. We're federal officers, we go by the book.

---

Morris Fletcher: This man needs a doctor. [Gas station attendant up to his waist in linoleum floor]

Jeff Smoodge: Not anymore... [After Army Sergeant shoots him dead]

---

[Scully sees Kersh's Assistant come out of Mulder's apartment, giddy and unkempt. The assistant closes the door and walks past Scully]

Kersh's Assistant: Agent Scully... [Scully bangs on the door]

Mulder: Just can't get enough, huh?

Scully: It's me.

Mulder: Oh, hey, Dana.

Scully: What do you think you're doing?

Mulder: Oh, you know, just a little lunch break. What's up?

Scully: We got the trace back on the call we received this morning. It came from a gas station pay phone off of highway 375 three miles east of Groom Lake.

Mulder: And?

Scully: And I'm thinking it was your source although I don't know why he'd try and impersonate you.

Mulder: Maybe so.

Scully: You don't think that we should follow up on this?

Mulder: Are you out of your pretty little mind?

Scully: Am I out of my mind? Mulder, you are out of your mind! What is up with you?! I'm thinking about having you examined for mental illness or-or drug use or... Or maybe a massive head injury! This is an X-File, your life's work, your crusade!

Mulder: As I understand it, we're off the X-Files.

[Scully slams the door as she leaves. Morris Fletcher, now alone looks in the mirror to fix his tie]

Mulder: [pouting] Bitch...

---

General Wegman: This is where you found the gas station attendant?

Howard Grodin: Yes, sir. We located the pilot at the crash site here and the Indian woman right there.

Morris Fletcher: What's this?

Howard Grodin: That, we believe, is ground zero. Once we analyse the flight data recorder we hope to confirm it's where the warp began.

Morris Fletcher: Warp?

Jeff Smoodge: [to Mulder] Beam me up, Scotty.

Howard Grodin: It's a tear in the space-time continuum, an anomaly created by the malfunction of the aircraft which was operating in gravity pulse mode before it went down.

General Wegman: We've been flying these things since 53. I never heard of anything like this.

Morris Fletcher: According to quantum physics, it's possible.

Howard Grodin: Anti-gravity systems utilise bends in space and time for propulsion. A sudden shift in a craft's trajectory could create the kind of distortion we're witnessing right here. A lizard and a rock existing in the same time and space.

Jeff Smoodge: If this is where your so-called warp began we would have all seen it. The three of us were out on highway 375 at the time, sir, intercepting two FBI agents.

Howard Grodin: The fact that none of us remembers seeing it is evidence that my theory is correct, sir.

Jeff Smoodge: And how's that?

Morris Fletcher: Lost time.

Howard Grodin: Lost time is a common symptom of close proximity to anti-gravity propulsion systems.

Jeff Smoodge: Then how come my head isn't in a rock, or Morris'?

Howard Grodin: That's one question I haven't been able to answer. It is possible we suffered consequences from our exposure that we're not fully aware of.

Morris Fletcher: What do we do about it?

Howard Grodin: That's your department — keep it out of the paper, make sure the witnesses disappear.

Morris Fletcher: Well, yeah, but I mean, how do we reverse it? How do we get the lizard out of the rock?

Howard Grodin: Who says we can?

---

[Joanne Fletcher is less than impressed that Morris Fletcher has slept in the La-Z-Boy for a second night in a row]

Joanne Fletcher: It's just that you don't want to ever make love to me ever again, that's all. That and you mumble something about Scully in your sleep. Who is Scully, Morris? Is it another woman?

Morris Fletcher: Does Scully sound like a woman's name to you?

---

[Mulder explains that he hasn't been himself]

Joanne Fletcher: Oh god, Morris. I didn't know. They have that pill now. We can work this out. There's other ways to be intimate...

Morris Fletcher: I think that was the doorbell.

Joanne Fletcher: We can make this work. [As Joanne Fletcher walks away to answer the door, Mulder pulls the most bizarre face]

---

[Joanne Fletcher opens the door to Scully, and when Mulder appears she slaps him hard. Mulder attempts to convince Scully that he is really Mulder]

Morris Fletcher: I'm Mulder. I'm really Mulder. I switched bodies, places, identities with this man Morris Fletcher, the man that you think is Mulder, but he's not. Of course you don't believe me. Why was I expecting anything different? Your full name is Dana Katherine Scully. Your badge number is... hell, I don't know your badge number! Your mother's name is Margaret, your brother's name is Bill Jr, he's in the Navy and he hates me. Lately for lunch you've been having... like this little six ounce cup of yoghurt... plain yoghurt... into which you stir some bee pollen because you're on some kind of bee pollen kick even though I tell you you're a scientist and should know better...

Joanne Fletcher: Cheater! [She throws clothes out of the house]

Scully: Look, any of that information could have been gathered by anyone.

Morris Fletcher: Even that yoghurt thing? That is so you. That is so Scully... Well it's good to know you haven't changed, that's somewhat comforting.

Scully: I don't know what the point of all of this is.

Morris Fletcher: I'll prove it to you.

Scully: No. You won't, but I wouldn't mind if you came clean with me.

Morris Fletcher: Scientific proof about what happened to us on that road two nights ago. Fair enough?

Joanne Fletcher: I am calling the police!

Scully: Good-bye, Mr Fletcher.

Morris Fletcher: I will prove it to you, Scully. Tonight. I'll prove everything. Okay?

---

Howard Grodin: [answering phone] Howard Grodin.

Mulder: Mr Grodin, this is Special Agent Fox Mulder of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How are you this morning?

Howard Grodin: How did you get this number?

Mulder: Well, frankly, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. Sir, I am obligated to tell you that you have a security leak in your facility. A man with whom you've worked very closely has contacted this office on several occasions and offered me access to highly classified information.

Howard Grodin: Would you happen to have a name for this man?

Mulder: Why, yes. Yes, I would.

---

Scully: [answering mobile phone] Scully.

Assistant Director Kersh: You're in Nevada again.

Scully: Uh... Sir, I am...

Assistant Director Kersh: Do not speak, Agent. Listen. Your partner already apprised me of his conversation with the Air Force and his fervent desire to save you from making a fatal career mistake. Therefore, you will follow my instructions to the letter.

Scully: Sir, I don't know what Agent Mulder might have told you, but I...

Assistant Director Kersh: You will follow my instructions to the letter. Otherwise, don't bother coming back from Nevada.