Episode Summary

A letter from a single mother brings Mulder and Scully to a small mid-Western town where they pick up the trail of a modern-day Frankenstein.

Episode Details


Guest Cast


Shaineh Berkowitz: You got to be kidding.

Izzy Berkowitz: What?

Shaineh Berkowitz: Don't what me, Izzy. Or you ain't going to no comic book convention.

Izzy Berkowitz: I'm 18... I can go anywhere I want.

Shaineh Berkowitz: Yeah, but where you going to live when you get back?

[Jerry Springer's guest is a woman whose son has hypertrichosis]

Jerry Springer: Dandruff a problem?

Dolores: No! I wash his hair twice a day... and brush a hundred strokes at night.

Scully: [reading] And could swear I heard Cher singing. The one who was married to Sonny.

Scully: [reading] I got your name off the TV. Some... lady on the Jerry Springer show who had a werewolf baby said you came to her house. Well I got her story beat by a mile, so maybe you'll want to come see me too. Sincerely, Shaineh Berkowitz.

Mulder: Scully, do you think it's too soon to get my own 1-900 number?

Scully: And now you're pregnant again?

Shaineh Berkowitz: Uh huh. But, as I told Agent Mulder on the phone, that's what takes the cake.

Mulder: Mrs Berkowitz had a tubal ligation two years ago.

Shaineh Berkowitz: You can't plant a seed in a barren field.

Shaineh Berkowitz: You know what this thing is, don't you Agent Mulder?

Mulder: Why do you say that?

Shaineh Berkowitz: Cause... You all quiet and stuff. And you know something you not saying... about alien abduction. They said on Jerry Springer you're like an expert.

Mulder: I don't think this has anything to do with alien abductions. I don't even know if I believe in that stuff any more.

[Izzy Berkowitz is using a peanut butter sandwich to lure The Great Mutato out of the woods]

Scully: Peanut butter sandwiches?

Mulder: You think baloney would be more effective?

Mulder: I'm alarmed that you would reduce these people to a cultural stereotype. Not everybody dreams to get on Jerry Springer.

Scully: Is there anything that you don't believe in, Mulder?

Scully: Sir, unless you want your scientific achievements to end up as a footnote on the Jerry Springer Show, I suggest that you make the time.

Dr Pollidori: Jerry Springer show?

Mulder: Good night, Doctor Frankenstein.

Dr Pollidori: Elizabeth, you know how I feel about children. They're mewling little monsters.

Elizabeth Pollidori: But I want children.

Dr Pollidori: What happened to our dream. Of getting out of this place, getting away from this hick town.

Elizabeth Pollidori: I think that's your dream.

Waitress: [to Mulder] Is it true Jerry Springer's coming to town?

Shaineh Berkowitz: Hey! Hey, that's it! That's the song that was playing when I got knocked up!

Scully: Mulder, this is just a dopey hoax.

Scully: Mulder, I'm alarmed that you would reduce this man to a literary stereotype. A mad scientist.

Dr Pollidori: Are you accusing me of knowing something that I'm not telling you?

Mulder: I'm accusing... that your wife may have been impregnated. [Elizabeth Pollidori is overjoyed at the prospect of having a child]

Mulder: The other victims they had their frying pans... violated. Do you know what this is?

Dr Pollidori: No. I don't.

[Mulder rummages through the household garbage and discovers an empty jar of peanut butter]

Mulder: I think we found our smoking gun.

[Waitress pours coffee into Mulder's lap]

Mulder: That's not a place you want to burn a guy.

Scully: Mulder?

Mulder: You may have been right, Scully.

Scully: What, that these people could be reduced to a cultural stereotype?

[Flicking through family snapshots of Old Man Pollidori with The Great Mutato]

Mulder: It's alive!

Mulder: This is all wrong, Scully. This is not how the story's supposed to end.

Scully: What do you mean?

Mulder: Dr Frankenstein pays for his evil ambitions, yes. But the monster is supposed to escape, to go search for his bride.

Scully: There's not going to be any bride, Mulder. Not in this story.

Mulder: Where's the writer...? I want to speak to the writer.

[Shaineh Berkowitz and Elizabeth Pollidori are both are holding two-faced babies]

Jerry Springer: Tell me something. Is it hard to love these babies?

Shaineh Berkowitz: What's not to love?