4X14 Leonard Betts

[Looking in morgue freezer]

Mulder: Pretty cosy. Who'd ever want to leave?

Scully: Well, whoever happened to get locked in here last night, I guess.

Mulder: That would be one Leonard Morris Betts, age 34. But it should probably be noted that when Mr Betts arrived here last night he was sans head. He was decapitated when his ambulance crashed. He was an Emergency Medical Technician for this hospital. A very good one apparently; a slew of commendations, write-ups in the local paper.

Scully: What about the morgue attendant?

Mulder: Somebody cold-cocked him and stole his clothes. He didn't see who. No alarms tripped, no sign of a break in. It's weird, huh?

Scully: What are we doing here?

Mulder: Did I mention that Mr Betts had no head?

Scully: Yes, so? I mean, you're not suggesting that a headless body kicked his way out of a locked morgue freezer, are you?

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[Scully offers a theory that the body may have been taken for medical research by students]

Mulder: Yeah, but why take a headless one and leave one of those top-dollar bodies behind?

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[Mulder and Scully are groping through the surgical waste that has yet to be incinerated]

Mulder: Ooh, I think I got the toy surprise.

Scully: Leonard Betts.

Mulder: That's his head, but where's his body?

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Mulder: I want to see how he lives.

Scully: Lived.

Mulder: Lived.

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Mulder: [on mobile phone] What did your examination uncover?

Scully: I haven't actually performed an examination yet.

Mulder: Why not?

Scully: Well because I... experienced an unusual degree of post-mortem galvanic response.

Mulder: The head moved...

Scully: It blinked at me... I mean, I know exactly what it is. It's residual electrical activity stored chemically in the dead cells.

Mulder: Blinked or winked? You're afraid to cut into it. Scully, you're not saying that it's alive are you?

Scully: I am certainly not saying that at all.

Mulder: But has it crossed your mind that it is not quite dead, either?

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Mulder: Made himself at home. Maybe he was home.

Scully: Leonard Betts?

Mulder: Yeah.

Scully: Without his head.

Mulder: [sheepishly] Yeah...

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Scully: This procedure is called biopolymerisation and it's basically a high tech mummification process. The remains are dipped in the epoxy and once it's cured the specimen can be sliced for analysis.

Mulder: Or you got yourself a nice paperweight.

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Scully: What are you suggesting?

Mulder: Let's get a slice to go. [Leonard Bett's brain section]

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Scully: Are you ever asked to defend this as a legitimate scientific process, Dr Burks? [Aura photography]

Dr Burks: Only if you're not happy with the results.

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Dr Burks: You know, with this equipment I've been able to catch the phantom images of whole leaves that were cut in half or the vestigial image of a lizard's tail long after it's been cut off. Which, you have to admit, is pretty cool.

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Mulder: Chuck, would you believe that this man's head had been decapitated.

Dr Burks: Oh come on. No way!

Mulder: Way! [to Scully] Are we happy with the results?

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Mulder: Siskel or Ebert? [Holding up a bagged thumb] What's the story?

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Mulder: On the other hand, how evolved can a man be who drives a Dodge Dart?

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Scully: This is surgical waste tagged for disposal. What do you think he wanted with this?

Mulder: You may not want to know. Scully, there's a great possibility that Leonard Betts not only is cancer —

Scully: — but that he needs it for survival. So you're saying that this is...

Mulder: Snack food. I mean, wouldn't it make sense that evolution or natural selection would incorporate cancer — the greatest health threat to our species — as part of our genetic makeup.

Scully: Why do I think Darwin is rolling in his grave right now?

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Mulder: Do you think Mom knows her dead son is tooling around in her car.

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Scully: Well, whatever he was doing, he's taking the secret to his grave.

Mulder: Yeah, for the second time.

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[Contemplating the matching remains in the coffin and on the morgue table]

Mulder: Will the real Leonard Betts please stand up!

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Leonard Betts: [to Scully] I'm sorry... But, you have something I need.