3X03 DPO

Jack Hammond: You got a problem?

Darren Oswald: Um, it was my game... I was playing here...

Jack Hammond: Were you pinhead? Now you're not.

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[Arcade lights go out after Jack pushes Darren onto the floor]

Bart Liquori: Aw, man... you shouldn't have done that.

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Scully: I don't understand.

Sheriff Teller: That's as clear as glass.

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Scully: Feel free to jump in any time.

Mulder: Why? You were doing just fine.

Scully: Do you have a theory on what's going on here?

Mulder: I just don't think it's lightning.

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Scully: Look, after everything that we've just been through, after all that we've just seen, I hope you're not thinking this is anything to do with government conspiracies or UFOs.

Mulder: None of the evidence so far indicates either of those possibilities.

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Mulder: Well then this local lightning is a lot more predictable than Teller realises. It seems to have a definite preference for the type of person it strikes.

Scully: What are you talking about?

Mulder: Well look at the files, look at all the other victims. They're all male aged 17 to 21, just like Jack Hammond. At least let's go see where Jack Hammond was killed. Maybe we'll find something we both can agree on.

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Darren Oswald: Why do you want to watch all that stuff anyway? They're all a bunch of losers.

Mrs Oswald: Cause they're on TV. I don't see you on TV. [Darren belches loudly.] Manners don't cost, Darren, they're free! What girl's going to want a belching fool like you?

Darren Oswald: Maybe you'd be surprised.

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Darren Oswald: Hey, you know, I think you ought to be some place else right now. Cause I'm in the mood for a little barbeque.

Bart Liquori: No, man, not the cows again.

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[Sheriff Teller starts in with yet another lecture on lightning. Mulder interrupts him and finishes his explanation]

Scully: Did they report lightning last night? [The observatory]

Sheriff Teller: They can detect every flash of lightning on this planet. Did you know that? You see each one emits radio waves at the exact same frequency —

Mulder: Shuman resonance. Eight cycles per second. You can pick it up on any transistor radio. You see that, Sheriff? I did my homework.

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Mulder: This is the first lightning strike I've ever seen that left behind a footprint.

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[Scully removes plaster cast from shoe print]

Scully: Here we go! Well considering it's a partial imprint, there's a lot of information here.

Mulder: That's great, now can you make me a little cherub that squirts water?

Scully: The tread looks like a standard military boot... men's... size 8 1/2.

Mulder: 8 1/2? That's pretty impressive, Scully.

Scully: Well, it says it right here on the bottom.

---

Mulder: I don't know, Scully. But let's go see if the shoe fits.

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[Sitting on a billboard overlooking the intersection where Darren "adjusts" the traffic lights]

Bart Liquori: You know, I've been thinking...

Darren Oswald: First time for everything.

[Squeal of brakes as cars stop inches from each other]

Darren Oswald: Aw, damn ABS brakes.

---

Bart Liquori: Wake up dude. There's another slight problem, she's married to your boss.

Darren Oswald: Maybe I could fry him.

Bart Liquori: Dude, he's your boss!

Darren Oswald: Not if he's dead he won't be.

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[Mulder leafs through a mens magazine in Darren's room]

Scully: I'm surprised you haven't already read that issue.

Mulder: Oh, I have. April is the cruelest month, but mine didn't come with this. [Holds up yearbook photo] I found it between Miss April and Women of the Ivy League.

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Scully: So you're saying that he's some kind of a lightning rod?

Mulder: No. I'm saying that he is lightning. And we've got to get to him before he strikes again.

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Mulder: You see what he did to my phone?

Scully: So what? Are we supposed to charge him with assaulting a cellular phone?

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Sheriff Teller: Let me get this straight now. You're telling me that this kid is throwing lightning bolts?

Scully: In effect.

Sheriff Teller: In effect? There's no scientific basis for that claim. This is speculation based on nothing. You have no hard evidence, no proof —

Scully: You said yourself Sheriff, even science can't explain how lightning works.

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Scully: Nothing unusual was detected, Mulder. The electrolytes, the blood gas levels, brain wave activity. based on the science of all the data that's been gathered —

Mulder: Darren Oswald is a perfectly normal, perfectly healthy kid. Do you believe that, Scully? [They exchange a glance] Neither do I.