2X18 Fearful Symmetry

Janitor: They don't pay you to dance, Roberto.

Roberto: Okay, okay.

Janitor: God is watching. [Indicating security cameras]

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Scully: Mulder, if you're still suggesting that the elephant did this, it just defies logic. Somebody would have seen it.

Mulder: Well if somebody would have seen it, Scully, we wouldn't be here. Another vehicle would have left evidence of a collision, distress of the metal or paint, I can see signs of neither of those things. I'd be willing to admit the possibility of a tornado, but it's not really tornado season. I'd even be willing to entertain the notion of a black hole passing over the area or some cosmic anomaly but it's not really black hole season either... If I was a betting man I'd say it was, uh...

Scully: An invisible elephant?

Mulder: I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear once.

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Scully: What are you looking for, Mulder?

Mulder: Oh, a local paper. I want to see if David Copperfield is in town.

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Willa Ambrose: Elephants aren't particularly good jumpers, if that's what you're thinking.

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Mulder: How's your relationship with Ed Meecham?

Willa Ambrose: I'm his boss and I'm a woman, and Ed doesn't like that much.

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Scully: And you consider that inhumane treatment?

Kyle Lang: It's like you or I living in a pickle barrel.

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Kyle Lang: All animals should run free.

Scully: Even if that means trampling a man to death?

Kyle Lang: Maybe he should have gotten out of the way.

Mulder: I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming.

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Mulder: It's all happening at the zoo, Scully.

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Mulder: Alright, you keep an eye on the WAO.

Scully: And where are you going?

Mulder: Talk to the animals. [The Lone Gunmen]

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[Mulder has set up a video conference with the Lone Gunmen]

Frohike: Beam me up Scotty!

Mulder: Did anybody ever tell you the camera loves you, Frohike?

Frohike: Yeah, the arresting officers at the Free James Brown rally.

Byers: What's this costing the taxpayers, Mulder?

Mulder: Uh, about 150 bucks an hour.

Frohike: Ouch! Almost as much as Bill Clinton's haircuts!

Mulder: Where's Langly?

Byers: He has a philosophical issue with having his image bounced off a satellite.

Frohike: What are you doing in Idaho?

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[Mulder's mobile phone beeps]

Frohike: If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know I've been working out... I'm buff!

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[Scully has just left Kyle Lang at the WAO headquarters]

Scully: Well that guy really pisses me off.

Mulder: You okay, Scully?

Scully: Yeah...

Mulder: You calmed down?

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[Mulder and Scully are about to meet Willa Ambrose's gorilla, Sophie]

Scully: Is this who you wanted to speak to?

Mulder: It's basic investigative procedure, Agent Scully. Interview all the possible witnesses.

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[Mulder has requested Willa Ambrose to help Scully to perform an autopsy on the escaped elephant]

Scully: I hope you know what you're getting us into, Mulder.

Mulder: I'm pretty sure of what we're going to find.

Scully: Cause this isn't exactly in my job description.

Mulder: Ah, next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV Sports.

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Scully: There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus luteum is ruptured.

Willa Ambrose: That's not possible.

Mulder: Neither is an invisible elephant.

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[Ed Meecham shoots the escaped tiger that was about to attack Will Ambrose]

Ed Meecham: It's all right, Willa. They don't all talk and draw pictures.

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Willa Ambrose: Aliens impregnating zoo animals?

Mulder: Yes, and harvesting embryos.

Willa Ambrose: Why?

Mulder: Maybe their own Noah's ark? To preserve the DNA of those animals that we're depleting to extinction. Whatever it is, that's probably the reason why you've never had a successful birth at this facility.

Willa Ambrose: I think that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Mulder: I understand that you might think it was ridiculous and maybe you should ask Sophie.

Willa Ambrose: You think this is what she's so afraid of?

Mulder: I believe she's pregnant. And afraid of them coming for her baby.

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Scully: Want to see something interesting?

Mulder: What you got there?

Scully: I was looking for a pen to finish my report in Willa's office and that was in a drawer. [An article on both Willa Ambrose and Kyle Lang rescuing Sophie]

Mulder: It's a small world after all.

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Scully: And you've been pushing this alien abduction angle.

Mulder: I still am. But in this case, Willa's reactions are all wrong.

Scully: You mean to losing Sophie?

Mulder: I think she knows where Sophie is and Kyle lang died because he knows what she's capable of.

Scully: You think she killed him?

Mulder: I think she'd do anything to protect that animal.

Scully: Even wait atop a stack of crates for a former lover to walk underneath?